A New Year Remembered
by Frankielynn
Summary: Some things you can't let go of, even after you thought you had moved on. Bella left Jasper 10 years ago, she had tried to move on, but as the new year ticks down, old ghosts reappear. One-Shot


**And as per the norm, this wouldn't be half as readable without my Beta and life saver "AJasperForMe", she makes this shit pretty.**

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_10 … 9 … 8_

The man on the TV seemed so cheery and happy, I flicked the channel to another station.

_7 ... 6 … 5_

Great, every channel was a reminder of what today was. Of what should have been. I flipped to another channel.

_4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1!_

I saw all the happy couples kissing on the screen in front of me, happy and in love, and welcoming the new year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I flipped my TV the bird, and shut it off. I had had enough happy for the night, enough of bad memories of past new years, and just happy moments altogether. I finished off my beer and went to the kitchen for another one. I had opted out of everyone's party plans for the night, blaming stress from work. That was partly true, my main reason for not going out was not wanting to run into past memories ... namely one.

I closed the fridge door and walked back to the couch. I watched the snow falling angrily outside and chanced a look at the clock. 1:00 AM, it read in bright red letters. I wondered for a moment what he was doing right now, and how the first hour of the new year was treating him. I wonder if he ever thought of me in those odd and random moments, when he would run across or do something we had done. I wondered if he did, the same way I was doing now.

I let myself get lost in the memories and mistakes for a moment, as I finished off my fourth beer for the night. I closed my eyes as tears started to sting my cheeks. Memories and drinking never keep good company. So lost in my memories, I didn't hear the phone ring 'til the machine had picked up and I heard his voice.

" Hey Bella, it's um … it's Jasper. I just wanted to call and wish you a happy new year. I know it's been … a while and I'm probably the last person you expected to hear from ... but ... um ...well ... happy new year, and I hope you're doin' okay. I'll let you go ... if you want to ... you should call me … sometime … catch up, the number's the same. Bye."

Well I guess that answers one of my questions. I stared at my phone, did I delete it? Pretend I never got it? Or replay it until it hurt, and I had worn the tape out? I didn't get to think on it too hard as I heard the lock on the front door start to click. I hit the erase button on the phone and on Jasper. My husband stepped through the door, trying to be quiet as not to wake me, surprised to see me standing by the phone.

"Happy new year, sorry I'm late." Hearing the words from him didn't seem to have the same feelings of electric shock as they did from hearing them from Jasper. Even if was over the phone.

"You only missed it by two hours anyway, and happy new year to you too." I feigned by best "happy wife" smile and kissed his cheek.

"You didn't go out this year?" Edward asked me, as he sorted through the day's mail. I watched him go about his night, not really waiting for me to answer, just trying to make small talk to his wife. The same wife he left for work almost every night.

"No, I thought I'd stay home, spend some time with Dick Clark this year." I rolled my eyes, as he just nodded and grabbed a beer and tonight's cold dinner from the fridge. We never ate dinner together anymore. In fact, we really didn't do anything together anymore. The most we did was greet each other in the hall as we got ready for work.

Watching my husband seem to live his life around me, made me think back to Jasper and his new year's call. It had been ten years since I had left him standing in his doorway as I put the last box in my car. Ten long years since the talk that led to that move, since he had picked a life that wouldn't include me. Those ten years seemed like yesterday sometimes.

I left Edward in the kitchen and went back to my spot on the couch. I risked seeing those happy kissing couples again and turned the TV back on, an old, sappy black and white movie was playing now. I left it on and sank further down into the couch, grabbing for the blanket I kept on the back of it. I saw Edward give me a confused glance as he moved to go into the bedroom.

"You're not coming to bed?

"No, I'm going to sleep out here tonight, watch all the new year's stuff." He snorted and continued on to bed, a small kiss placed on the top of my head and a mumbled 'I love you' as he went.

This was my life now. How things had changed from ten years ago? Ten years ago this night would have ended with me naked and curled up in Jasper's arms, trying to catch my breath before the next round, though I was also a lot younger back then. I still felt that twinge of regret, that maybe I shouldn't have given up so easily. Youth and lack of faith playing a big part in why I wasn't now doing just that.

I drifted off to sleep that night with an old movie and thoughts of Jasper in my head. He had sounded older tonight, more mature, yet still Jasper.


End file.
